Likability is overrated. Think about it, would you rather be liked or respected?
I’ll take the latter; it means standing firmly on my values and remaining steadfast in my integrity. That’s not something that everyone in life will accomplish. I see it every day, the opportunities missed for growth, understanding, and compassion. Those sincere qualities do not exist in every human; unfortunately, not everyone was placed on earth to show everyone what it is like to evolve. However, by reading this, you’ve found one in me.
Transformation on a large, public-facing scale, however, is something I have learned I was destined for. You see, I am well aware that using my voice is my destiny, and not just because it’s Gemini season, ok?
It’s because I was born to put on a show and narrate the fuck out of it in real-time. Trying to be likable will get you nowhere in life except to directly hate yourself, because you’ve morphed into a facade of a person and/or a product rather than a human being with values who can think and speak for themselves.
To be a thought leader more often than not is not to follow the crowd; it is to be challenged, if not hated, for forging and following your own path. To be a confident thought leader is to know that you may very well be hated for pursuing your own happiness, speaking your truth, but to do it anyway, on an epic scale that most never will, for one very solid reason. Most people are terrified to be perceived because they have been conditioned by religion, family, community, the media, etc., to question and, if not hate, numerous aspects about the way they think, act, speak, look, etc.
Once you step into the power of owning your authentic identity, one thing becomes clear: the world was never set up for self-love or self-care, but rather for control through projected self-hatred and othering. Once you step into your authentic power to accept who you truly are, you will become unstoppable. The question for a well-intentioned, decent human being here is: will you continue to use your powerful voice for the benefit of others? That’s what I do by using my platform and my voice. I aim never to be likable, to be real af. If that’s you, you’ve found your tribe here, so speak the fuck up about what matters to you and own who the fuck you are.
Life’s better when you aren’t terrified about who you are; people tend to be less transphobic once they’ve mastered their own sense of self. It’s something I wish for every ignorant person out there: learn who you truly are before speaking on identities you have no expertise in or lived experience of.
ABOUT DYLAN THOMAS COTTER:
Rebel with a cause, driven by authenticity, self-expression, and liberation for all.
Dylan Thomas Cotter is a strategist, public relations leader, and brand communications executive with more than fifteen years of experience at the intersection of entertainment, media, and technology.
Cotter is known for securing numerous Tier 1 (top-tier) and Tier 2 media placements across key markets including but not limited to GQ, Rolling Stone, Out Magazine, The Advocate, Pride, Inked Magazine, Real Simple, VICE, KTLA, Reader’s Digest, Mashable, Yahoo! News, Yahoo! Life UK, Newsweek, Men’s Health, Parade Magazine, Betches, U.S. News & World Report, Women’s Health Magazine, NursingColleges.com, Women.com, South China Morning Post, Truthout, MIC, The Manual, Curl Magazine, International Business Times UK, TechRound, GB News, The Irish Star US, The Mirror, MSN and AOL.
Cotter is an advisor to founders, artists, and executives on brand positioning, reputation, corporate social responsibility, and strategic communications. As an openly gay transgender professional, Dylan Thomas Cotter is committed to fostering inclusive, respectful, and affirming work environments.
His latest book, THINK LIKE A TRANSGENDER THOUGHT LEADER, is out now, and his memoir, TRANSGENDER & TRIGGERING THE LIFE OF DYLAN THOMAS COTTER, is available now at Barnes & Noble, Harvard Book Store, Book Soup, and Skylight Books, amongst other fine retailers, and is distributed worldwide through IngramSpark.