In the past year, I’ve seen few LGBTQIA+ news media websites do anything other than attempt to have me, as a gay transgender man, comment only on negative and/or graphic sexual topics as opposed to sincere ones of love and intimacy, to which I can speak to in-depth.
Regarding love and relationships media source requests, I am not open to graphic, lowbrow, sexually themed articles; I am open to thoughtful, emotionally centered pieces of depth, positivity and intimacy.
We can do better here, so let’s consider that, shall we?
The new pattern here is that I have not been approached for topics that are outside of negativity. I prefer not to have my personal brand only associated with negativity in regard to love and sex, and I’d venture to say most other expert sources would appreciate to be provided diverse topics in regard to media source requests (that we don’t get compensated for).
I do not wish to be contacted for commentary on graphic sexual topics, as they fall outside my personal and professional boundaries. I find articles of this nature reductive, as they reinforce narratives that fetishize people who share my gender identity and/or sexuality rather than contribute to thoughtful or substantive public discourse.
Here are some dating throwbacks in case you missed them; it’d be nice to be approached for more positive article angles.
1. What is ‘chatfishing’? The AI dating trend explained & if LGBTQ+ folks are guilty of doing it
“It’s a subtle form of manipulation as opposed to full blown like catfishing, that said neither are great to experience while you’re on your path to seeking an authentic relationship,” Cotter tells PRIDE. “Think of it as an emotional psyop through conversation as opposed to visuals.”
READ: https://www.pride.com/answers-advice/love-and-sex/what-is-chatfishing
2. ‘Bio-baiting’ is the latest toxic trend, but is it fooling LGBTQ+ daters? Experts weigh in
“Ah, bio-baiting, another not so honest dating practice,” Cotter says. “Bio-baiting is when someone creates a super misleading dating profile bio that really talks them up to be something that they are in fact not, with the intention of attracting someone under false pretenses.”
READ: https://www.pride.com/answers-advice/love-and-sex/what-is-bio-baiting
3. What is the toxic ‘throning’ dating trend & are the gays doing it? Relationship experts weigh in
“Cotter says that most people are throning because they aren’t getting enough validation and feel like their accomplishments are being overlooked. Someone might chose a more attractive partner to “leverage their social status” or if they’ve reached some success in their career they might see dating as transactional and pick a partner to help with their career goals.”
READ: https://www.pride.com/answers-advice/love-and-sex/what-is-throning
4. What is ‘monkey-barring’ & are LGBTQ+ daters more likely to be victims? Dating experts weigh in
“It’s also a sign of insecurity, says Cotter. “When they are alone and once things aren’t perfect with their initial partner, they begin to seek attention elsewhere rather than work on and communicate their feelings to their partner.”
READ: https://www.pride.com/answers-advice/love-and-sex/what-is-monkey-barring
5. What is ‘Shrekking’? The toxic Gen Z dating trend explained by LGBTQ+ relationship experts
“It’s an inauthentic dating strategy based on the false assumption that people who are not ‘conventionally attractive’ are somehow inherently kinder or have better character,” Cotter tells PRIDE. “Some people think if they ‘date down’ they will avoid being hurt because hurting someone that they perceive as ‘less than’ conventionally attractive will not be as impactful.”
READ: https://www.pride.com/answers-advice/love-and-sex/what-is-the-dating-trend-shrekking
6. What is ‘submarining’ & are LGBTQ+ daters more likely to be victims? Dating experts weigh in
“As Cotter describes it, “Submarining is when you’re seeing someone and then they just dip out, leaving you hurt and perplexed as to why. Then one day, that same person then attempts to pop back into your life as if nothing happened and like there’s nothing wrong,” adding that this behavior should be considered a major red flag.”
READ: https://www.pride.com/answers-advice/love-and-sex/what-is-submarining
7. What is a ‘black cat boyfriend’ and do the gays want one? A dating expert explains
“Black cat boyfriends tend to be more reserved and less social, says Cotter. “I am very selective with my social energy,therefore I maintain high standards and am selectively affectionate. I am confident operating in the world knowing my worth and choose to only surround myself with those who will not compromise my values or waste my time. More often than not other people rely on being liked as to where we do not,” he continues. “The powerful energy we possess in relation to this, makes us come across as intimidating to the weak and intriguing and magnetising to the strong,” says Cotter.”
READ: https://www.pride.com/answers-advice/what-is-a-black-cat-boyfriend
8. 14 reasons why gays love daddies, according to sex & dating experts
“Best sex of my life, Dylan Thomas Cotter, Publicist, Activist, Author of Transgender & Triggering The Life of Dylan Thomas Cotter, “ tells PRIDE. Practice makes perfect after all! But in all seriousness, Cotter explains that the appeal of sex with a daddy is that they project an aura of both experience and the skill that comes with it. “There’s a level of sexual attentiveness and experience that far surpasses that of younger partners because they simply may not be as skilled or as open-minded to explore sexual fantasies as daddies are,” he explains, adding that this knowledge comes from firsthand experience.”
READ: https://www.pride.com/answers-advice/love-and-sex/gay-daddies
ABOUT DYLAN THOMAS COTTER:
Rebel with a cause, driven by authenticity, self-expression, and liberation for all.
Rev. Dylan Thomas Cotter is a strategist, public relations leader, and brand communications executive with more than fifteen years of experience at the intersection of entertainment, media, and technology.
Cotter is known for securing numerous Tier 1 (top-tier) and Tier 2 media placements across key markets including but not limited to:
The Associated Press, Fortune, Playboy, GQ, Rolling Stone, ABC News, Out Magazine, The Advocate, Pride, Inked Magazine, Real Simple, VICE, KTLA, Reader’s Digest, Mashable, Yahoo! News, Yahoo! Life UK, Newsweek, Men’s Health, Parade Magazine, Betches, U.S. News & World Report, Women’s Health Magazine, Women.com, South China Morning Post, Truthout, MIC, The Manual, Curl Magazine, International BusinessTimes UK, TechRound, GB News, The Irish Star US, The Mirror US, Daily Express U.S., MSN, AOL, UNILAD, Morning Honey, News9Live, Business Times, ClickOrlando, News4JAX, East Bay Times, Newsday, Midland Reporter-Telegram, El Paso Inc., SRN News, WRAL, Marietta Daily Journal, Yahoo, YourValley, Henry Herald, Times Union, TheIndependent, INkl, Netscape, WSB Radio, Taylorville Daily News, The Seattle Times, FOX Illinois, The Gazette, Stamford Advocate, New Haven Register, CT Post, Lakeland Today, SFGATE, WSLS 10, NC News Online, Courier News, Delco Times, The Republic, StarBeacon, Daily Journal, Temple Daily Telegram, The Toronto Star, WJTV, Winnipeg FreePress, KFOR, TribLIVE, The Hour, KTAR, WTOP, Daily Press, MyStateline, SeattlePI, NewsChannel 20, The Mercury News, Oskaloosa Herald, The Korea Times, MyNorthwest, Greenfield Reporter, Antigo Journal, Voice of Alexandria, Union-Bulletin, Gwinnett Daily Post, WBAL, WVNews, YourSourceOne, WINK News, Mankato Free Press, Audacy, Goshen News, KRQE, HNG News, CBS 17, FOX 40, KSNT, Western SlopeNow, FOX 44 News, KDVR, News 13, WGN Radio, NVDaily, MyMotherLode.com, The Hamilton Spectator, Daily News-Record, The Washington Times, KTVO, DailyIndependent, WFMJ, Fine Day Radio, WSB-TV, Local 10, Messenger-Inquirer, Click2Houston, The News-Item, KSAT, OA Online, KIRO 7, The Sun Chronicle, KARK, RiverBender, Laredo Morning Times, San Francisco Chronicle, The News-Times, CTInsider, Beaumont Enterprise, Manistee News Advocate, The Telegraph, Michigan’s Thumb, Chron, KHQA, The Intelligencer, EverythingLubbock, The Virginian-Pilot, MyPlainview, Your Conroe News, GMToday, WFMZ, SSBCrack News, Wenatchee World, News 10, Emirates 24/7, VIN News, Hartford Courant, Philippine Daily Inquirer, Silicon Valley, Ground News, Japan Today, The Washington Post, Boston 25 News, Butler Eagle, Livingston Enterprise, Ottumwa Courier, Dayton Daily News, LimaOhio, Guard Online, 990 The Answer, Indianapolis Business Journal, PHL17, ABC27, EDGE Media Network, Telemundo Nebraska, The Columbian, 1010 WINS, WPHT, KY W Newsradio, WB C O Radio, WBBM Newsradio, KMOX, WWJ Newsradio, KNX News 97.1 FM, WTIC, WWL, KMBZ, WILK Newsradio, WBEN, Talk 1370, WPXI, Times Leader, ABC4
His latest books, Dear Cisgender Reader Walk Beside Me: An Invitation to Understanding My Big, Exciting Gay Transgender Life and Think Like a Transgender Thought Leader, are out now.