Health

Shame doesn’t live in me as a proud gay transgender man, and it shouldn’t live where trans attracted individuals are either; however, it does for some because of a lack of awareness, a lack of societal inclusion of trans people, and a lack of basic human sexuality education programs inclusive of the full spectrum of both gender identity and human sexuality.

Suppressed trans attraction in a transphobic society is a recipe for disaster, so I’m here to show you it’s ok to be attracted to trans people, and you don’t have to hate us or hit us for being attracted to us.

One of my favorite movies is SLC Punk; if you’re not familiar, there’s a scene where a well-dressed and groomed friend of the two leads states most men:

“don’t know if they want to fight me or fuck me,”

And that right there is something that is a reality for a lot of transgender people.

One thing is for sure: cisgender trans attracted men often may have a challenging time reconciling with their sexual attraction to transgender people in the beginning of their self-exploration of their sexuality, and that’s by design due to the strategic exclusion and trans erasure attempts that have been enacted and further perpetuated by the United States government.

Why the United States federal government does not have a public policy put into place to teach the nation about the full spectrum of both gender identity and human sexuality, inclusive of all LGBTQIA+ citizens, is beyond me, and I find it to be highly discriminatory of my people.

Without proper education as a foundation, most in society are not familiar with transgender people such as myself until we arrive at some point in their life journey. Lack of inclusion in education leads to ignorance, which builds fear of “the unknown,” which can lead to self-hate and trans violence and/or death due to the shame of trans attraction by cisgender people, mainly cisgender men beause no one ever taught them it is normal to be attracted to another human regardless of gender identity and/or presentation, that all people are deserving of love and acceptance and inclusion.

So when we as transgender people arrive in someone’s life, again most people are torn between two very extreme reactionary feelings after experiencing trans attraction. Then they themselves do not understand why.

As transgender people, we know exactly why. It’s because our identities have been hyper-politicized. As a result, many either feel compelled to react with strong emotions of either love or hate for transgender individuals such as myself because the agenda of the United States government of trans erasure is being upheld by many anti-trans democrats and republicans alike and funded by, well, you can figure that out, can’t you?

So let’s get back on track here to discuss those who suppress their attraction to transgender individuals, shall we? It’s not because they’re bad people; it’s because they’re experiencing their own version of self-awareness, and we all know that takes time; it’s not easy; often we lose people in the process of arriving at our most authentic selves. That can be daunting for some and lead people to self-hatred for their very natural sexual attractions and preferences, or towards violence towards those whom they are attracted to.

Life doesn’t have to be shameful and violent. It can be full of love when your heart is gentle and open.

When you consider what you’ll gain when you finally arrive at your own self-comfort level with your trans attraction, you will see that, in the end, you lost nothing.

Not one person who was truly intended to stay in your life authentically would leave if they were really unconditionally supportive of you and loved you no matter what.

So the reality is, you don’t need to fight us transgender people because every time someone directs their focus and energy to us transgender people in any manner, we know there is an internal struggle going on with shame and self-actualization.

Let your shame die and take that trans cutie out on a respectful date; watch how much better you feel about life, the world, and yourself.